This page contains affiliate links meaning I earn a commission if you click on the link. I only recommend brands and products that I trust.
Ok so yes, I KNOW that there are like 5 million articles on the internet about how to refuel and recharge your marriage. I know that they are out there because I’m pretty sure I have read them all. If you caught my last blog post then you are aware of the fact that my marriage has had its fair share of troubles, but I am here to tell you, if my marriage could be resurrected, yours can too! My husband says that there was a time in our marriage when I didn’t even like him, the secret is… I actually agree with him on that (however, I know there were times when I wasn’t likeable either!!) however, the beautiful, awesome thing is that if you were to stop me at Target today and ask me what I feel about my husband I could literally spend hours gushing to you about him. He makes my heart skip a beat, he brings peace to my soul, he is by far my greatest blessing… even after 16 years! It is not always perfect because well, he knows exactly how to press my buttons and grind my nerves, but I am more in love with him than I have ever been. I am going to tell you how you can get those butterflies back, girl.
1. Go To Church Together.
This one could be hard to start with, I get it. However, if you have done the steps I told you in the post prior to this one, you will be well on your way to this! It is so important to find a church home that you two BOTH enjoy. Maybe you like a small church, maybe he likes a killer praise and worship band… regardless, it is important to look until you find a church that encompasses what each of you need individually so that you can enjoy going together.
2. Pray together.
Maybe you don’t know how to pray together. Will it be awkward? It is VERY possible. Will it be short? Probably so in the beginning. What if he won’t pray with you? Pray FOR him and let him know that you are doing that! The cool thing is, God doesn’t care about perfect, he doesn’t expect perfection from you. It’s ok to be a hott mess express because Jesus can see your heart!
3. Do a devotion together.
THIS IS IMPORTANT! This one step right here will grow your relationship in ways you never imagined. Particularly this book I’m going to post below. This book is incredible because it makes you go to deep places, but yet it also allows you to explore those places in a safe way together and it provides an awesome way to talk to your spouse about those topics that you wouldn’t normally visit. Bonus material right here: before you begin your devotion and prayer time, ask each other what was the high point and low point of the day. So many times our days are so busy that we forget to ask the simple questions and we fail to continue to learn about what is going on in the daily life of our partner. After you ask those questions, read your devotion together and then close your time together in prayer.
This is the devotional that I highly recommend reading with your spouse.
4. Change your mindset.
Us mamas love our kids, so much in fact that we typically put them above anything and anyone. I’m about to break your heart here girlfriend, but, if you are living a God centered life with a God centered marriage, you’re going to have to do some changing around of your list. After God, He commands us to have our spouse before our children. I KNOW! UM, WHAT!? Clearly God is not a mama! NEWS FLASH, mama! You are correct! Pat yourself on the back sister, because God is our FATHER and thank you, Jesus, for that! Our mama emotions get in the way at times and definitely cloud our judgment which is especially an issue when it comes to who takes the top spot in your life. If you can successfully make this switch it will become so much easier to set specific time aside to connect with your spouse.
5. Date Your Spouse.
Did you know there is actually going to be a time when your children don’t need you anymore!? Super sad and awful to think about, I know, but it’s the truth. So what happens then? You’ve spent 18 plus years focusing on them and neglecting the relationship and suddenly you realize that you don’t even know who the man is that you share your home with. As mamas, we get so focused on our kids that it is, in fact, seriously easy for this to happen, but I am here to tell you, girl, this is BAD. Don’t let the years go by and not focus on your spouse. If you are in a place where things are rocky, it is going to be extremely hard for you to comprehend this, I know it is, because I have been there, but if you are able to have that spiritual shift in your heart, you will embrace this concept! So, date your spouse, sister! It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, maybe even just dinner. Even better, and way more my style, is finding a trashy tv show, letting the DVR record it and then after the kids go to bed cuddle up on the couch with some pizza and watch it together. Some of my favorite moments of the week are the moments I spend playing footsy with my hubs while we watch Floribama Shore or Jersey Shore.
I’m gonna’ end this with saying the following.
Is my marriage perfect? Nope, it sure isn’t. However, we have gone through a lot of mess in our 16 years together and hopefully our message can help save you and your spouse from going through waters as dark as the ones that we went through. We love you and we are rooting for you!
Ps.We have had so much request for more information about how to help marriages that we have put together a passion filled, God led program that will help you rebuild the foundation of your marriage and put you on the path that God intended for you and your partner. Click here for more info.